Monday, March 30, 2009

"Happy Hour", Skype, and Visitors

Seeing as how Eirik and the cats have managed to coordinate their awake and rarin' to go times, mom is up, too. So Eirik will hopefully sack out in the sling, while Kelly beats the blog into shape and gets some pictures of things posted.

While we love reading email and getting calls on our cell phones, for those of you who have Skype and want to do the nifty video call thing to see what entertaining things little man can do, our Skype ID is otis.d.richardson. Give us a holler! We'd like to hear from you.

And speaking of getting in touch, one of the great/not-so-great things about living on an Army post is that you live in a gated community:

The positive thing is that it keeps out most of the door-to-door solicitors (nothing quite beats telling one of those enthusiastic young people that you've already purchased some Hinduism today) and other assorted odd folks that have a tendency to show up unannounced - like drunk neighbors, that one weird friend, or other fun characters.

The negative thing is that there still odd folks that show up unannounced because they live on post, and the solicitors are more likely to be people with large chunks of brass on their shoulders looking to do a health and welfare inspection (nothing quite beats telling one of those enthusiastic staff sergeants that you're in the middle of breastfeeding your son).

But quirks aside, it's not bad living here, and we would like you to know you're free to visit! Really!

So how do you manage to visit us here on beautiful Fort Lewis without getting the "We're here from the Government, and we're here to help" two-step?

Follow these easy and quick steps to visit us on Fort Lewis:

1. Gather the following documents:
  • A driver's license if you are driving your own vehicle on post or a government issued photo ID if you are a passenger above 16
  • The registration for your car
  • Proof of insurance
  • Current vaccination forms, credit report, and results of last physical (just kidding..)
A sample of the people we'd rather not see

2. Take all of that fun stuff and go to the Visitor's Center which is off of "Main Post" part of Exit 120 on I-5.

3. Once at the Visitor's Center, take a number, and if the line is long, make snarky mental comparisons of how this is better/worse than the DMV, or just people watch.

I've got number 215. What number are they on? 6? Oh fuuuuuuuuun.

4. Once the cheerful, polite and efficient workers at the Visitor's Center run your license to see if it's valid, as well as check your registration and insurance, you'll get this nifty piece of paper which is your all-access pass to get on post.

5. After receiving your pass, exit the Visitor's Center and get back on the I-5 North. DO NOT go through the Main Gate because our ability to give instructions to get to our house from the Main Gate is not great, and you might wind up lost and run over by Stryker.

I think we were supposed to take a left back therAHHHHHH!

6. Get off I-5 on Exit 122, Berekely Street and take a right into the Madigan Gate. Once you get up to the gate, present the magic piece of paper issued to you by the cheerful, polite and efficient workers at Visitor's Center to the cheerful, polite and efficient security guards at the gate, who will probably give you a random search of your vehicle. Don't be offended. They missed out on body cavity duty and generally try to take it out on your car.

Be gentle, it's my Volvo's first time...

7. Once through the gate, go to the first stop light and pull into the little mini-mart, which is the Shoppette, on the left. Give us a call, and we'll guide you in the rest of the way.

8. (Optional) While you're waiting, run inside the Shoppette, get yourself an adult beverage and curse the bureaucratic nonsense you've just endured.

A reward for a job well done!

That was easy, wasn't it?

We look forward to seeing you!

1 comment:

Kerri said...

Loved this post! very funny!

I've enjoyed seeing all the pictures you guys have been posting. Thanks for sharing them! :)